“Your hair smells like el mar.” he pulled me in closer and whispered “the sea” into my ear
“When we kiss it feels like we're in a painting. Look.” I said
And we both looked at how dreamy we looked in the mirror.
“Why does it feel so good to kiss you? Why?”
“Because I have those jumper cable lips.”
“Yeah, yeah you do.
You know what's that tool they use to cut things down?
That's what it feels like I'm doing.
Cutting down sugar when I kiss you.”
He whispered into my ear
“pay attention” and I dropped everything in my hands
“Come on, come on now stop being so scared Jodie.”
I started to turn around. He grabbed my hand.
“You're with me, I'm here there is nothing to be afraid of. LET GO.”
“Okay.” I said.
“You see the waves?”
“Okay they aren't going to hurt you. They can't.”
He picked me up and held me in the water. A wave started to gather momentum and speed as it grew and came closer. I looked at him.
“Now we're going under hold you're breath ok? We are going under the whole wave and I have you ok?”
“Relax. You're not relaxed.”
I closed my eyes.
He turned my back to the wave and I held my breath as we dove under and he held me as the wave rolled across picking my hair and twisting it all around and I felt a cool rush as he pulled me back up.
“See? It's like being in a washing machine,” he said
“Did you feel that cool water?:
“Wasn't that awesome?”
I smiled as he turned and a second stronger wave came rolling in.
“Holy crap I didn't see this one coming PURA freaking VIDA!”
and I started to laugh as we went under again the wave pulling my hair towards it and giving it back.
“There's something intimate about all this. Being together in the ocean, huh?”
And I smiled and said yes as he kissed me on the forehead, the sun making him squint his golden blue eyes.
I was lost in the tongue torquing of his kiss. It was morning and I was lethargic. The rolls of his tongues transpired into waves. And I could hear and feel the ocean as he recoiled and crashed his tongue back into mine and it was probably the best kiss of my life.
I was reeling to catch my heartbeat after kissing him hard and he ran his fingers down his neck, and across the opening of his shirt and continued to trace them across his chest, forcing his shirt open and stopped abruptly. He patted once with two fingers and whispered “my heart” into my ear, and I tried to refrain from the amethyst sheen spilling over, but it was so sharp and innocent I let it take over and pools spilled on my cheeks as he saw and held me close. It isn’t that often that mere words crush me.
Freckles of sepia sand
a curious tongue that sparks
after kissing him
when I open my eyes,
a haze of amethyst
is all I see
I've let what you've written sink into my skin. Your words brought me to my knees. I was so scared of you. So scared of us. Something so feral and ethereal about our connection. Like I took a bite of an electric tangerine and it infused my whole being with beams of desire. Someone once wrote that as soon as you question something you shoot the mysteriousness right out of it. That you do it by second guessing. I believe that Oscar Wilde wrote when Basil saw Dorian Gray 'think' for the first time, that beauty escaped as soon as his face became contorted with any emotion like worry or deep thought.
I miss your southern infused voice that flows with the cadence of water being drawn from a well. I miss that heavy look that drapes across your cloudy eyes when you are mad. I miss how you put your cigarettes in your shoes outside your door, and how you would crawl into my bed after we fought about nothing either one of us could remember. I miss that melted look in your eyes when we are passionately kissing, like some painted your irises with watercolor and stars. And I miss the most when you would whisper into my ear, how it went straight to my soul, like something I've never felt before. Like we knew each other in a different life, and my heart recognized you.
I had a dream last night that I kissed you. It was long and slow like a violinist pulling a bow deeply and purposefully across the strings. It felt ethereal and real. Like I thought you would be right there when I woke up.
I can hardly remember you anymore. I mean, it used to be my biggest fear was to forget people. I would try so hard to be in a moment that I couldn't enjoy it because I never wanted to forget it, or them or that feeling of how I felt in that moment. There has to be a word for doing this. Because I do it a lot.
What will happen to us? What has happened to us? Is any part of it real? (past and present)
Have you forgotten how I smell? My hair?
the night was black
the moon a tangerine
i dropped my quartz bracelet
and it chipped
i felt like the day was on a tilt
and he wouldn't look at me
was asking me if I was mad
and I just wanted to leave
because the good always turns to awkward
and theres a moment you decided if you both want this