“Iron side”

I went from being madly in love to just being mad. How strange life is.

                -sometime spring 2018


Intimacy = into me you see

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Boat entry September 22

The head chef fell down the freezer stairs (which I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy) & split open his elbow and he showed me and it was so deep I could almost see the bone. So he could hardly cook or clean and proved to be a challenge for the whole boat and I wondered how it had even happened in the first place.


I left the boat a bit sad and said goodbye and felt that bitter sweet melacholia that I always experience when I leave. I went out to dinner with the crew and we had the best Lebanese food I’ve ever had in my life, surrounded by red light and laughter.

I spent my last night in Portland, watching Titanic and crying like a baby in my hotel room. The more I work on the sea, the more I understand Titanic.


Airports are such a strange and wild place for people watching. Everyone’s lethargic and confused and in a hurry, only to end up waiting around for hours. Also, the water at the airport doesn’t taste like mold or bleach (like the boats).



Almost a fight at the local laundry mat. Apparently 1.25 wash day is the cats pajamas in Seattle.

A man (with OCD?) was yelling at people to stay out of his ‘clean space‘ as he took well over an hour to shake out each and every piece of clothing from the washer, as people rolled their eyes at him behind his back. I decided to stroll around the neighborhood for a kombucha and to apply for my passport and passport card.


I spent the day today at the SAM getting lost in paintings and day dreaming about my youth and future. I had just finished a cupping treatment on my back (for the first time) so I was in a perfect haze. I spent the first part of my time at the museum embarrassingly adjusting my shoes, which I thought were perfect for a museum day, but within quiet solitude of marble floors, were loudly clacking and rubbing until after 4 times I finally got them to stop making a scene.

I stared at a Pollock painting, and other Rodin sculptures, an African exhibit and classical paintings of royalty and peasants.


Ballet twice a day. Up at 7:00, brush my teeth twice by accident, shower and change to walk to class by 10. I talk to the teacher after class, leave around 12:30. Go to hardware store. Stop by and visit friend for a quick black coffee. Walk home take nap, quick (hot) shower, mostly for muscle purposes, eat something and get on bus by 17:30 to commute to downtown to take 2nd bus to 2nd studio by 19:00.  Get out of class by 20:30, travel home by uberpool which takes an unpleasant amount of wrong turns and picking up of strange people in strange places. Get home around 21:45? and am delirious and exasperated. Go to bed because I have another class tomorrow a.m.

Sea me

Sea me