I dance ballet and some latin dance. These excerpts are about the struggle of finding the "balance" of being an adult and having a strenous full time (and expensive) hobby.

Intermi(hell)diate ballet

Intermediate ballet kicked my…quads. The hardest ballet class I’ve taken to date. I was overwhelmed with the complexity of the combinations. One of the company dancers stood next to me on the barre. She was doing the combinations times ten: Extra ronde de jambes, extra beats, extra counts, extra emphasis on port de bras.

On one hand it challenged me to watch a professional dancer do everything on pointe and to challenge myself, on the other hand it was killing me because I couldn’t even understand the combination to begin with, so I felt like I was spinning in circles.

We also did exercises on the barre that we haven’t went over yet: Fondu developpe to 45 degrees, enveloppe to attitude then extend to 90 degrees. Also, attitude en cloche insead of degage en cloche.

I hung in there for most of center work.

I died during the traveling combinations.


It was all so rapid. I got shuffled to the front of our group. That meant I had to remember and not cheat by watching someone else. Oof! The torture!

I tend to shut down when I feel like I can’t hang in ballet. So I did. My teacher said something about at least trying. I can’t even bring myself to do a single pirouette yet!!! Let alone a double/triple!

 I just got red in the face and reveled…again. I felt her staring at me. I was actually looking forward to jumping (which has never happened) because I could at least do that decently.

I also realized during class how many negative things I say to myself , in my head.

Its a lot.

Rough. Class.